His Shyness
Muhammad (peace be upon him) was known for His extreme quality of hayaa (shyness) to the extent that a proverb has been set to explain this quality of Him; Abu Said Al Khudri reported, “The Prophet (peace be upon him) was so much more shy and modest a man than a virgin lady in her private room”. (AI-Bukhari: 3562, Muslim: 2320)
Allah the Most High has described Him with the equality of shyness in the Noble Qur’an and praised Him for that in surah Al-Ahzab (The Combined Forces), “O you who have believed, do not enter the houses of the Prophet except when you are permitted for a meal, without awaiting its readiness. But when you are invited, then enter; and when you have eaten, disperse without seeking to remain for conversation. Indeed, that (behavior) was troubling the Prophet, and He is shy of (dismissing) you. But Allah is not shy of the truth …” (Q 33: 53)
The books of prophetic traditions explain the story of this story as following:
Narrated by Anas bin Malik, “When Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) married Zainab bint Jahsh, He invited the people to a meal. They took the meal and remained sitting and talking. Then the Prophet (showed them) as if He was ready to get up, yet they did not get up. When He noticed that (there was no response to His movement), He got up, and the others too, got up except three persons who kept sitting. The Prophet came back in order to enter his house, but He went away again. Then they left, whereupon I set out and went to the Prophet to tell Him that they had departed, so He came and entered His house. I wanted to enter along with Him, but He put a screen between me and Him. Then Allah revealed, ‘0 you who believe! Do not enter the houses of the Prophet. (Al-Bukhari: 4793, Muslim: 1428)
Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us that the quality of shyness is not only something particular to Him as a prophet but rather a tradition of all messengers of Allah; Abu Ayoub Al-Ansari reported, “The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Four (traits) are from the practice of the messengers; modesty, using perfume and siwak (tooth stick) and marriage’.” (Al-Tirmidhi: 1080, Ahmad: 23069)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also told about the bashfulness of His brother, the Prophet Moses, saying, “The Prophet Moses was a shy person and used to cover his body. No part of his skin would appear as proof of his shyness.” (Al-Bukhari: 3404, Muslim: 339)
Among Muhammad’s attitudes which show His quality of shyness, is that He never accepted being naked. However, this happened only once, when he was young and He was never seen naked after that day. Jabir Abdullah said, “The Messenger of Allah was carrying along with them (his people) stones for the Kaaba and there was a waist wrapper around him. His uncle, Abbas, said to him, ‘O son of my brother! If you take off the lower garment and place it on the shoulders underneath the stones, it would be better.’
He (the Noble Prophet) took it off and placed it on His shoulder and fell down unconscious.’
He (the narrator) said, ‘Never was He (peace be upon him) seen naked after that day’.” (Al-Bukhari: 364, Muslim: 340).
Muhammad used to feel shy of people who are shy. His companion Uthman was also a shy man, therefore He used to treat him in a proper way for his character.
Saeed (be al-As reported from Aisha and Uthman that Abu Bakr sought permission from Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) for entrance as He (the Prophet) was laying on his bed Labisun Mirta Aisha, and He gave permission to Abu Bakr in that very state. Then, Umar sought permission, and it was given to him in that very state. Uthman reported, “Then I sought permission from Him and He sat up and said to Aisha/Ijmaii alaiki thiyabakr. (wrap yourself well with your clothes)
Shortly after, Aisha said, ‘Abu Bakr entered and you did not stir and did not observe much care (in arranging your clothes), then Umar entered and you did not stir and did not arrange your clothes, then Uthman entered and you got up and set your clothes right’.
He said, ‘Uthman is a modest and shy man, so I thought he might not make his request if he entered while I was like so’.” (Muslim: 2402)
His Shyness of Talking Explicitly about Private Affairs
While explaining religious matters to His followers, Muhammad (peace be upon him) found that some of these matters would make one feel shy when discussed explicitly, so He used euphemistic expressions to alleviate their effect.
Narrated by Aisha, “A woman asked the Prophet about the bath, which is taken after finishing from the menses. The Prophet told her what to do and said, ‘Purify yourself with a piece of cloth scented with musk’.
The woman asked, ‘How shall I purify myself with it? He said,’Subhan Allah! Purify yourself (with it): I pulled her toward myself and said, ‘Rub the place soiled with blood with it’.” (Al-Bukhari: 314, Muslim: 332).
The Prophet Muhammad Commands His Ummah to be Shy
Evidently, shyness was not just a quality which the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) naturally acquired. However, it is a recommended character in the religion of Islam. Therefore, Muhammad used to praise it and enjoin it to His companions, making it clear that shyness is from faith. He said, “Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches. And hayaa (This term hayaa covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; among them are self respect, modesty, bashfulness, and scruple, etc.) is a part of faith.” (Al-Bukhari: 9, Muslim: 35)
When Muhammad (peace be upon him) found that some people would disregard the quality of shyness and belittle it, He disapproved of their behavior and told them that shyness is a recommended quality of a Muslim. Narrated Salim bin Abdullah Ibn Umar, from his father (may Allah be pleased with both of them), “The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding hayaa (shyness) and was saying, ‘You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you’.
On that, Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave him, for hayaa (shyness) is (a part) of Faith”. (Al-Bukhari: 24, Muslim: 36)
Muhammad (peace be upon him) drew a comparison between modesty and vulgarity. He saw modesty as an opposite to vulgarity; He said, “When vulgarity is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when hayaa (shyness) is a part of anything, it becomes beautiful'”. (Al-Tirmidhi: 1974)
The Meaning of hayaa (Shyness)
We could wonder: is not shyness a quality of weakness and disability? Does not it stop a man from seeking his eligible rights? Does not it stop a man from saying what he should say? Was this the case of Muhammad (peace be upon him)?
The one who contemplates Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) biography will find that shyness as a characteristic of Muhammad and as a quality, which He invited people to have, was not an aspect of weakness or a disability. Obviously, Muhammad did not acquire the quality of shyness due to His lack of power, communication skills or due to His being embarrassed easily. Rather it was a good manner which He knowingly had chosen consciously.
As evidence for saying that shyness never stopped Him from explaining religious rulings for people when necessary. Narrated by Husain Al Mozani, Ali bin Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him),”He addressed the people from above the pulpit, saying, ‘O people! I heard the Messenger of Allah saying, ‘Prayer can only be interrupted by acts that nullify the religious purity of man. And I do not feel shy to tell you something which the Prophet did not feel shy to tell you.”(Ahmad: 1168)
Once a woman asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about some religious rulings pertaining to personal life, which some people would feel shy to ask about, and she excused this by explaining that shyness should not prevent Muslims from understanding their religion. He agreed with the woman, as evident in the following narration.
It was narrated from Zaynab, the daughter of Umm Salamah, that Umm Salamah said, “Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Allah is not too shy to tell us the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl (washing the whole body) if she has a wet dream?’ The Prophet said, ‘Yes, if she sees water (a discharge): Umm Salamah covered her face and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, can a woman have an erotic dream?’
He said, ‘Yes, may your hands be rubbed with dust. How else would her child resemble her’?”. (Al-Bukhari: 6091, Muslim: 313)
In fact, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was concerned to bring up His followers in balance; He would accustom them to seeking their eligible rights and thus He saw no contradiction with the quality of shyness. However, He stressed on the value of shyness as a recommended trait of a Muslim.
One of the benefits of shyness is that it prevents man from committing impolite actions; it leads man to choose his words so as not to speak in an embarrassing way or to speak explicitly about personal affairs. Shyness does not recommend talking explicitly in public in a disapproving way of other people.
Muhammad (peace be upon him) confirmed this meaning in the following narration. He stressed that a person for whom shyness does not represent any constraints, will do whatever he or she wants without any limitations.
He said, “Among that which reached the people from the words of the earlier prophethood: If you feel no shame, then do whatever you wish.” (Al-Bukhari: 6120)
Shyness from Allah
Muhammad (peace be upon him) made clear that shyness is not only in healing with people, but also should be also in man’s dealing with his Lord the Exalted, from whom he or she has to feel shy.
Truly, shyness from Allah makes a Muslim guard against his Lord, fear Him and never disobey Him whether in public or private life. Narrated Abdullah bin Mas’ud, Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Be truly shy from Allah. The companions said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, praise and thanks be to Allah, we are shy from Him: To which He replied, ‘It is not that what I mean. Being truly shy from Allah means that you preserve your head and what it comprehends (your thoughts, ideas, creed, religion) and preserve your belly and what it contains (your source of livelihood should be lawful). Moreover, you should remember death and rottenness. He who seeks the hereafter should abandon the adornments of this worldly life. Whoever does that is shy, truly shy from Allah’.” (Al-Tirmidhi: 2458, Ahmad: 3662)
When one of His companions asked Him for advice, He advised him to have shyness from Allah the Exalted, saying, “I advise you to be shy toward God, the Exalted, in the same way that you are shy toward a pious man from your people.”. (Al Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-lman: 6343)
